아프고 힘들더라도 이것도 살아있어야 느끼는거니까 - 순정에 반하다

Sunday, June 16, 2013

It's already June 2013

yes it's already June 2013.
it almost 3 month that i have start my work as a Junior QA Engineer in a local IT company.
at the first month, it's pretty hard for me to take on everything.
i felt so stress that i actually cried almost every morning. thinking should i just quit. why do i have to continue my work here?
I always pray. made Solat Istiqharah too asked Allah to help me in making decision.
Always discuss the same thing with my mum.
everytime I prayed to Him, somehow the answer will always to just stay.
somehow my heart also open up to it.
I was actually in conflict whether i should work or just help my mum with her rising business.
in the end, i just made my decision to just stay with this work and help my mum as my part time.

Every person in this world usually have their own reason why they're working.
Some people because they wants to earn money for their family.
However, for me, right now, my main reason is just want to learn.
I want to learn this knowledge.
I know that I wont get the same opportunity in other places so I decided to stay with this company and learn more from them.
I've watched my mum work with people throughout my life and yet she still cant finish to pay her debts. Now that she found her way on how to set up a business and actually making it work, only now she found the light to go out frm the life that she had before.
When I was started working also, i always ask, why am I working?
What's the reason every morning i woke up to go to work?
What's the reason of other people when they went to work as well?
Do they really like their job or they just have to work to make a living?
What's their purpose?
these questions always circling in my head for awhile. it's also quite a good time for me to be closer to Allah.
Ask Him to show me the right way.

I know that deep down, what I'm doing right now is not really something that I really really really like. I guess it's true when people said that it's hard to live and doing something that you've always dream of. then again, when I ask myself, what is my dream?
what is the dream that I want to live of?
I'm still 23 years old and this is not too late for me to think about it.
However, in the mean time, I think I will find it slowly.
and who knows, I will found it and live it.
InsyaAllah.
Nothing is possible when I work on it and with Allah's will.

I'm thinking of updating this blog pretty frequent. tho I know not like anyone was reading or following this blog lol XD
I guess I can just took this as my diary and practice my writing skills cause I really like writing.
I also think I should re-start my writing hobby.
it has been awhile since i left it.

anyway, it already 5:22 AM now, huhuhu... it's already this late.... bye2 for now