July 2014 Post, Ramadhan 1435H

Asalamualaikum...
Dah lama x update sini... perasaan nak update mmg ada tp tu la... malas pun ada, semua ada la...
ada jer bende yg menghalang nye >.<
Sekarang tgh ada feel nak menulis, tu la yg menulis ni...

first skali nak citer. I already broke the news to my supervisor... like yep, this is definitely my decision that I'm going to take.
InshaAllah after solat istikharah yg telah dibuat, perasaan lebih berat kepada teruskan.. and somehow, ianya lebih jelas dari sebelum ini...
Alhamdulillah... dan harapnya Allah permudahkan segala - galanya...
Walaupun tadi ayah ada juga cakap yg he prefer for me to kerja dgn orang lg... because I already have degree...
bila bincang balik dgn my sister td, dia pun cakap, "apa-apa pun, ni hidup kau... kau yg kena buat keputusan yg mana kau rasa terbaik untuk kau. ayah punye perspektif, sbb kau dah hbs duit belajar semua, so he prefer you to get a monthly wages... stable... tp kalau kau ada bende lain nak buat, ko kene prove kat diorg la yg ko blh buat... tu je.. "
Apa yg dia cakap tu betul... the best way now, aku kene PROVE kan my decision going to make me a better person and gain good things for me and my family... of course...
aku dah malas nak berat-beratkan fikiran aku dah...
nak buat... x nak x yah buat... tu je...
hidup kalalu nak fikirkan kebaikan untuk semua orang susah jgk...
InshaAllah, He knows best... mungkin ada hikmah di sebalik keputusan aku ini...
be it a good thing or bad thing will come, aku hanya perlu jd lebih positif dalam menghadapinya...
InshaAllah... :)

Okay, stop on that, hari ni dah masuk Ramadhan yg ke-16. dah separuh bulan dah lalui Ramadhan ni...
1st half ramadhan ada gak tinggal2 tarawih... InshaAllah, goals untuk 2nd half supaya dapat lengkapkan tarawih and bacaan Al-Quran aku... InshaAllah...


Sebenarnya dalam mengambil keputusan untuk berhenti tu, aku cuba untuk cari benda lain...
Aku nak cari AKU.
Aku nak cari DIA.
Aku nak cuba benda lain.
Aku nak tengok benda lain.
Aku nak kenal orang lain.
InshaAllah.
Aku akan cuba untuk capai perkara2 ini.
Perkara pertama yang aku akan cuba adalah start balik menulis...
Dah lama aku tinggalkan cinta pertama aku yg satu ni...
Aku suka menulis...
instead of menaip kat komputer cuba untuk meng'program' sesuatu, aku nak tulis...
di mana jari2 aku boleh menari dengan sendirinya...
mereka dapat menari dgn freenya..
tanpa sebarang restriction XD
apa yg keluar dari otak ku, satu per satu, bait bait keluar di taip...
aku suka perasaan ini.
InshaAllah akan aku teruskan cinta aku ni...
Insha Allah..
dan walaupun, aku sudah 'tua' aku cuba untuk mencari the innocence yg aku ada dlu...
mungkin x menyeluruh tetapi aku harap aku dapat mencapainya walau sedikit...
Di mana level of positiveness aku dalam kehidupan lebih tinggi dari kini...
InshaAllah :)

New week tomorrow...
May He'll give His bless and ease it for me and for all Muslims out there.
Especially the Palestinians...
Kau permudahkanlah segala-galanya untuk mereka Ya, Allah.

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