First Post of 2023
Just right after my first post of 2022, it's my first post of 2023. This means how rare I am updating my blog here. I try to write more this 2023.
My concern is practically the same as before. As my life is still the same. Not much changes. I still got some freelance job after last post, but not much.
I have applied for some permanent job from time to time. However, I always end up with the same concerns. Looking back at my resume, I feels like I don't know anything. Like my working experience all these years are like worthless. I don't know. I refrain to get deep into it because I don't want to relapse but I can't help feel that way.
I studied in Information Technology. Of course, I didn't graduate with flying colours and if you read my past posts in this blog like in the year of 2011 - 2012 something, you'll know the reason. XD
I had a 1 year plus experience in Manual Testing. Even that, I feels like I've zero experience in manual testing. IT field has been change so drastically now after 10 years and it has been like 10 years I left that field. Frankly speaking, it's hard to come back to it. I can learn back but it going to be so hard.
My recent working experience is in subtitle field. 5 years working in this field until my last position as a Project Coordinator. Even at that, when I'm searching something of the same position, since the field is different, my past experience again felt like zero relevant again.
I always told myself that I didn't regret what happened in my 20s.
I had a colourful 20s. I try and venture in all kind of field. Career-wise, I started with IT, self-employment with F&B business, selling products, manufacturing, promoting, working as a freelance subtitle translator, working as subtitle editor, working as project coordinator. All seems colourful and varieties. I like it and I totally satisfied with what happened with my 20s. I feel like if I stick to only one thing, that's just not me. I want to try everything.
Realistically speaking, now that I'm in my 30s, hence why I'm having all these concerns and thoughts, having one career that stick for years, climb the corporate leader one by one might be the MOST stable way. Well, when I compared to other people. Damn, I hated when I keep comparing my life with others! But hey, I'm human. Sometimes you just tend to compare even without any intention for it. That's why I'm not that fond of social media like Instagram. Especially Instagram Stories. Personally, I tend to update my post feed than stories. It's true, when I see others stories, it seems more interesting than what I have. So, I tend to avoid them. Usually, I just went to Reel instead. That feature is quite fun.
Deep down I know I can't go for that route but my logic and rational mind said, that path is WAY better and stable. Nothing beat stable. True.
Even now, writing this down, I'm debating with myself.
I should have these kind of concerns in my 20s but in my 30s I still have it. Is it normal? I wonder if I'll ever get the answer for this. Is there anyone out there that can answer this? I don't know.
Since I was a kid, I envy friends or family members that have a specific dream. Like just one or two dream that they want to do. The young me want to do so many things. I want to be an Engineer, a Film Director, a Scriptwriter, an Astronomer, a Scientist etc. Could be many more. When I able to become a Junior Software QA Engineer, the position title is using "engineer". The young me was like, "Yeah, I managed to achieve that, an Engineer."
These days, I try to like search in myself, what are the things that I'm good at? What are the things that I like? And are these things can bring money to me? I don't know.
So many things that ended up with not knowing the answer or the right way.
I guess this is life. Aside for things that right out illegal and crimes, you just don't know how things might turn out. Just need to keep trying, I guess.
I truly hope for my next post, I won't be talking about these kind of thing again.
Although, I might do it. LOL XD
Till next post. ;)
