Because I'm Alive... 살아있으니까...

오늘 진짜 내 싫은 날인가봐... 너무 싫어... 너무 미워... 너무 스트레스트... 내 눈물이... 게속.... 슬퍼... 아이유의 싫은 날 노래가, 오늘 내 노래다...  내 인생은 너무 가식... 내 삶은 인생은 내꺼가 아닌것같아... 부모님인가... 할머니인가... 할아버지인가... 동생들인가...   느낌이 내꺼 아님...  난 나무 우울것같아...  님이... 대단한 사람이 알아...  완벽 주의자니까...  말이가... 제가 너무 부담것같아..  제 마음이 안좋아... 근데 이 입이, "좋아" "이해한다"  항상 웃어... 가식한 어색한 웃어...  제가 용기가 없다... 자신감도 너무 약해...  제가 너무 약해인가봐... 인생이 왜 이렇게 부담스럽게???  왜? 왜? 왜?  쉬운 인생은 없다... 그것도 내가 알아...  자유럽게 살고싶다... to express all of this to someone, 내 성격이가... 어렵다...  재가 울어하면 혼자다...  울어 모습이 is not for others...  Ya Allah... tenangkanlah hati ini... Kau hilangkanlah kegelisahan ini...  Kau gantikanlah dengan perasaan bahagia...  it's sad that everytime I want to update this blog, it is always on bad things...  haishh...  My condition really 위험... i know that...  but wri...

yes it's already June 2013. it almost 3 month that i have start my work as a Junior QA Engineer in a local IT company. at the first month, it's pretty hard for me to take on everything. i felt so stress that i actually cried almost every morning. thinking should i just quit. why do i have to continue my work here? I always pray. made Solat Istiqharah too asked Allah to help me in making decision. Always discuss the same thing with my mum. everytime I prayed to Him, somehow the answer will always to just stay. somehow my heart also open up to it. I was actually in conflict whether i should work or just help my mum with her rising business. in the end, i just made my decision to just stay with this work and help my mum as my part time. Every person in this world usually have their own reason why they're working. Some people because they wants to earn money for their family. However, for me, right now, my main reason is just want to learn. I want to learn this kn...

Semalam aku melaksanakan tugas aku sbg rakyat Malaysia. tugas untuk memilih siapa yg aku mahukan untuk menerajui pentadbiran Malaysia ni. byk ketidakpuashati berlaku. isu2 seperti pengundi bangla, blackout dsbg. disebabkan aku x berada di tempat yg berlaku semua perkara tersebut, so I wont comment much. I just read what people spread on the net. However, my prinsip, internet bknlah sumber 100% fakta. byk pihak blh manipulasi. aku pun blh upload all kind of videos, tulis skit, org share, bende tu terus jadi viral. tanpa selidik apa2 kalau bende tu betul, bettullah, tp kalau x, bende tu x psl2 jd fitnah. what more i can say now is, FB is like a nest of all kind of rumors or information that there's no solid prove of it that being shared just because it suit with that person preference, views or preference. this PRU13 also shows a lot of races sentiment being arise. not just from other races but from malays themselves. personally i dont really agree with the races sentim...

it already March now.... I'm officially 23rd years old... I really should looking for job now.... tho it's not official but i actually already completed my study... yeah aku fail dlm cuba utk menaikkan cgpa kpd 3... so I'm a 2 pointer graduates... sure the competition agak tinggi... hence no calling for any interview yet.... aku dah finish my one month training with HP for the software testing just to add on my specs... i know i'm not a good students with awesome results and other specs... but again... life is too precious for me just to live in despair and all.... i believe life is more than that... i know life can offer lots of things that I just never know yet... yeterday i came back from a business seminar by Bryan Gan. i see a lot of potential in it... my mum actually has business that definitely has potential if it's marketted well... I'm thinking of helping her... i just hope with his road is the best road/path for me... who knows... :) gott...

sbnrnye tau byk dlm bhs title post ni, is hard.  it's better x tau dari tau.... kalau bhs malaysia or bhs inggeris, kite blh tau kutuk2nye apa sume kan. bhs yg kat atas tu pun me tau gak...  knowing is bad.... is really bad especially if you're like making yourself like a fool.  그래. aku gne this thing yg aku tau diam2 je la.  gne diam2 lagi bgs.  too much nnti jd koreaboo.  Bahasa Malaysia jugaklah yg terbaik walaupun mostly bende yg aku tulis kat dlm blog ni rojak dan pasar hahahahaha XD tp inilah bhs plg aku comfortable. well, it's your mother tongue mira, what do you expect??? duh! -___- Bhs inggeris pun bile aku ckp, still merangkak-rangkak gak... bila tulis bajet pro la... hahahahahhaah XD Korea tu... tau2 sendiri jer la. Knowing too much is not good for your health. especially the one that will bother you and will make your self-esteem go low. >.> okay, done dgn hal bhs2 ni.  next, member dah start cari keje dah? 헐! -...

it's the first day of 2013. My resolution for this year simple. Hope this year is better than last year and I hope I can master driving on rode in this year >_< I actually still scared to actually drive on the rode... I dont know what I'm afraid of, but it kinda make me overwhelmed to actually control a vehicle(?) idk huhuhuhu.... since all car in my house is in manual state, i feels like there is a lot of things to handle when I'm driving huhuh... anyway, this is one of my new year resolution >.< today is D-DAY. Finally today, SME released Girls' Generation comeback song, I Got A Boy. at first, I was so 멘붕 or mental collapsed because of this song. First time listening to it, it feels like 987662 songs in one. It's the first time I cant say that I love it straight away. Usually, for most of SOSHI's song, I actually love it straight away after I listened to it. Like The Boys. with The Boys, most of people dont like it the moment they listen...

the time I was writing this, it is 3:22am. I was thinking of updating this blog as maybe the next time I'll update it probably it's already in 2013. who knows? >.< Actually I was waiting for SBS Kpop Super Concert to finish download as I downloaded the HD one hence = 3GB -____-;; the waiting is quite long and I actually already so sleepy but I got to wait for this download to finish first. Last Friday was the day I submitted my report for my final year project. the report may not be perfect, but I'm quite 뿌듯 that I actually finished the whole thing. It may not that thick like everyone else, but I think it have everything that needed(?) idk... guess i have to wait my result to know that... it was chaos that day... 21 November 2012... the day the Mayans predict as the end of the world... i survived and I actually survived and managed to submit this report despite the rain and the short time... thanks to the faculty staff that still there and not going home yet and ...

yesterday I was practically didnt have sleep at all. I drank like 4 packet of the 3-in-1 coffee and 1 can of the Nescafe Mocha. I'm not really a coffee lover... I just took it because I need the caffeine to stay awake throughout the night to actually do something in my project to show her, my supervisor. Work out all night to finish it and the 1st part still at 40%. the 2nd part got a bunch of errors here and there with the problem at the web hosting part... I was all stressed out about it. Then the clock is ticking to 1pm at noon on that Friday. With whatever I have now, I'm meeting her. my heart was so nervous and with the effect of the caffeine, I felt like my hands and legs are shaking... walking to meet her at her room. there's another friend of mine as well. she's meeting her as well to ask about the post-evaluation on her system. I'm not even reach that part yet and the VIVA is totally confirm for this upcoming Friday and I'm suppose to be the 3r...

First post in the December :) It's the 6th on December now. We're reaching to 2013 before we even realize it. Yes, the stress time have come now as the VIVA was said to be next week yet my project was still in 20% or maybe less. IDK why but I kinda lost... lost in time... lost in everything. I didnt have the initiative to start it and even when I already started it, I lost the motivation to continue it. tomorrow I have to show my supervisor what i have done these past one week and my mindset is to just 버려 my sleep time and just continue making it tonight and yet I'm still here writing this blog post.... -___- see... the problem with me is instead of trying to overcome the problem, I'm running away from it. worried about it yet I didnt do anything about it. That's totally my problem..... this suppose to be my last semester but my attitude has gotten worsen. I dont know what to do with my life anymore... and the fact that i pay attention to my kpop life mor...

It has been awhile I'm writing here... well, I was feeling like writing the "it" thing that happened in kpop world these days... well, it's the IU-Eunhyuk scandal. I was actually found about the rumor first was like in early of November... well, since people was posting the pictures of assumely they having the couple items... searching about it at naver and all cause their name actually on the trended list. my results was just a mere rumors since the only they have is the couple items that may be true or may be not. So I was just let it past.... until on the 10th November, breaking news of IU “accidentally” posting one 불편한 selca of her and Eunhyuk and deleted it right away after that… The selca was seen as really disturbing as Eunhyuk’s face have the “after-sex” face… Since the one that post it was IU, her image was go down the drain… then LOEN came up with this most lame excuse ever. Seriously… Eunhyuk was visiting her in Summer because s...